Mary Wasn’t There

Mary Harney fails to attend the nurses conference in Ballyconnell

In Ballyconnell, things were tense,
Suspicion filled the air.
In drizzling rain,
They searched in vain –
For Mary wasn’t there.

From Bawnboy up to Cavan town,
They searched each park and square,
Those fools who thought
She could be caught! –
Ha! Mary wasn’t there.

The matron did not see a thing,
As far as she’s aware.
That icy blast
That just blew past?
No, Mary wasn’t there.

They grilled each nurse and checked I.D.
And tugged all facial hair.
Deeds underfoot
Suspected, but
Bould Mary wasn’t there.

Detectives monitored the hall
And noted every stare,
And cameras panned
And swept and scanned –
But Mary wasn’t there.

Shop stewards loudly gnashed their teeth
And broke down in despair,
For she’s too smart,
A dame apart! –
Sweet Mary wasn’t there.

Who is that lady muffled up
Beyond the spotlight’s glare?
It couldn’t be!
For patently
Bould Mary wasn’t there.

That damned elusive pimpernel
Prepared her ground with care.
Invisible?
That’s risible –
For Mary wasn’t there.

Her aura settled o’er the stage,
So palpable and rare.
But no-one saw
Her features for
Bould Mary wasn’t there.