Sunday, August 12, 2007

Lets Go Penalty Point Crazy!

Penalty points for a host of new traffic offences...

The Minister has flexed his joints.
All credit, I suppose.
He’s introduced these penalty points
To keep us on our toes.
I’m sure he’ll be delighted
To receive my firm endorsement,
Provided it’s united
With the threat of real enforcement.
For yes, a problem does exist,
He needs to show he’s tough,
Though really this extensive list
Does not go far enough.
Let’s give our Gardaí extra power!
Ignore the legal questions!
I’m sure there’s many who will cower
At my proposed suggestions: -

For anyone who picks their nose,
A youngster or old fogey,
Traffic wardens should impose
A point for every bogey.
For anyone who does their hair,
Or re-applies their make-up,
Man or woman, I don’t care –
Two points should make them wake up.
Those who use the left hand lane
To overtake at junctions
Should really get to feel the pain
Of law-enforcement functions.
Rolling back a foot or so
When starting on a hill
Deserves a point or two to go,
In my new traffic bill.
And those who will not indicate
When on a roundabout
Have little cause to get irate
If points are meted out.
Cracked exhausts that belch out smoke,
And youths with music blaring.
Yellow cars are just a joke –
In fact, I find them glaring.
Windows that proclaim ‘No Fear’
And fluffy dice a-dangling,
Drivers stuck in second gear,
All leave the nerve ends jangling.

I well accept the list above
Might have a few detractors,
And I’ll admit I’d really love
If everyone drove tractors.
But one transgression outstrips all
And cannot be forgiven.
It’s seen from Rathlin to Rockall,
Wherever cars are driven.
Yes, Minister, you are the man,
The only flame that flickers –
You must enforce a total ban
On Man United stickers.

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