Begrudging Moses

The nation’s got shirty and blamed poor old Bertie
For a moderate “income revision.”
And, though there’s surprise at the size of the rise,
Sure, it wasn’t the Taoiseach’s decision!
The Commission related, independently stated,
That there have to be leaders and flunkies,
And some deserve more fiscal preference, for
If peanuts are paid, you get monkeys.

But some commentators now seek to deflate us,
Insistent on putting the boot in,
By saying it’s a racket that Bertie’s pay packet
Dwarfs that of George Bush, Brown and Putin.
But the size of his income is, frankly, fair dinkum,
For the others are quite lily-livered,
Whilst Bertie has shown us a tigerish bonus,
Got down, done a job and delivered.

Some folk, who are shameless, claim Bertie’s not blameless
For poorly administered sectors.
In our dealings with Health, we have squandered great wealth,
And house prices adversely affect us.
The misery’s complete with each lane, road and street
Now totally gridlocked with traffic.
And Bertie’s the chappie who’s made us unhappy
(They attest, using language quite graphic.)

But it’s just playing dirty to blame poor old Bertie
For the faults of those HSE buggers.
And new roads are delayed, not by him, I’m afraid,
But by snails and swans and tree-huggers.
The cost of construction may cause quite a ruction,
But Bertie can’t halt market forces.
And it’s the EU that likes to have interest hikes
And pillage our natural resources.

In short then, recapping, he deserves much back-slapping,
For improvements he’s made to life’s quality.
And the great feelgood factor around us, in fact-uh,
Should not be dismissed as frivolity.
But where things aren’t working and progress is shirking,
The blame lies in other directions.
If the old Teflon man were to carry the can,
He wouldn’t win all those elections.

So, though we’ve agreed a pay rise for our leader
(And those who share similar yearnings,)
We’re quickly retreating, now plaintively bleating
And seeking to stymie his earnings.
By our coat-tails he’s brought us from storm-ridden waters
To a land of great milk and much honey.
This latter day Moses has show’red us with roses –
And yet we begrudge him his money!

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Unsuccessful entry for the Strokestown political satire competition