Thursday, July 30, 2009

The shitehawk

The shitehawk, Ireland’s bird of prey,
Is common in our skies today,
Hov’ring over town and road
To disposition its great load
On people who are unaware
It’s up above them in the air.

It comes in many shapes and sizes
Handing out its brown surprises.
Famous ornithologists
Spend many years compiling lists
Of all the many hybrid species
Currently dispensing faeces.

There’s overchargers, red-light jumpers,
Bank head-shakers and gazumpers,
Petty thieves and hooded bowsies,
Scumbags who break into houses,
Men who can’t see what the fuss is
Sitting put on crowded buses.

Authority that’s mean and petty,
Uncle George and Great Aunt Betty,
Journalists who ruin lives,
Cheating husbands, lazy wives,
Men who’ll sack you with a laugh
To take on cheaper, foreign staff.

Folk who fling black sacks in ditches,
Curtain twitchers, nosey bitches,
Parkers in disabled spaces,
Intolerants of other races,
Girls that snipe and boys who bully,
Spin-doctors who make wrong acts woolly.

The common wisdom is that this
Great bird that spreads its shite and piss
O’er everybody, old and young
(Indiscriminately flung)
Is much more common in the sky
Than ever was in years gone by.

That isn’t quite the case however.
This great bird of prey has ever
Fouled our country top to toe,
Browning those green fields below.
It’s just, before, it seemed that we
Were crapped upon less openly.


Justin said...

I play in a band called Shitehawk. We play Hawkwind covers shitely (although it still seems to sound like early Hawkwind oddly enough)!
Would you be offended if we put this poem, or verses of it, to a Hawkwind style piece of music for non-profit reasons (we don't really play that much and seldom get paid).
Funnily enough, my other band, Dave Boyfish and The Wheel have supported John Otway earlier this year.


Peter Goulding said...

Hi Justin,

That's brilliant! By all means, take anything you want, adapt if you need to. I'm thrilled to think there's a possibility it might be usable!

Otway - now there's a character. Saw him a number of times in Friars, Aylesbury in the seventies and have never forgotten him!


Justin said...

Hi Pete,

Sorry haven't been in touch sooner, you know, christmas and all that!
Thanks for the permission to use the poem. I've shown it to the rest of the band and they think it's a great idea. I wouldn't get too excited though. As I mentioned before, we're not that good ;)

We're getting together later this week so I'll keep you posted. is there another method I can contact you or is this the prefered interface?

Happy New Year

Peter Goulding said...

Hi Justin,
I love the confidence in your own ability! Have you ever thought of auditioning for The Apprentice?
Back in 1977, when I was about 15, five of us got together and formed a punk band. We were utterly appalling, lasted about a year, played a few village halls and friend’s birthday parties etc
But we didn’t care. We had a brilliant time playing at being rock stars and looking back, it was probably the best time of my life.

So go for it. You can’t be any worse than us! (I remember one gig I had to play bass (I was the singer) when our bassist got held up at a football match.)
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