Sketching Taoisigh on the loo

Photo RTE

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The Irish are a lawless race,
Duplicit and conniving.
Within this god-forsaken place,
The criminals are thriving.
Thieves and robbers,
Double jobbers,
Hard-nosed killers too,
But worst of all is one who sketches
Taoisigh on the loo.

This sick and evil misanthrope
Remains a shady figure.
The Gardai simply cannot cope
Whene’er the masses snigger.
This evil crime
Requires that time
And money’s spent to foil it.
But they can’t catch the man who sketches
Taoisigh on the toilet.

Thank God the Gards have made it known
Crime tolerance is zero.
To some, this arty Al Capone
Is some kind of a hero.
His sick mind fuels
Deluded fools
Who praise his evil plan
To overthrow the country, sketching
Taoisigh on the can.

Soon we will be overrun
By Taoisigh in the buff.
How much painting will be done
‘Ere someone cries ‘Enough!’?
Thank God the law
Is ready for
These cultural attacks
By this foul mastermind who sketches
Taoisigh on the jacks.

Let them leave no stone unturned
To root out this dark villain.
His heinous crimes have even turned
Our thoughts from all the killin’.
Yes, let the force’s
Huge resources
Catch this arty slob
Who’s horrified the country, sketching
Taoisigh on the job.