The buses are going on strike again

The buses are going on strike again
It’s just been announced on the news,
Inflicting their annual dosage of pain,
As people put on sturdy shoes.

It seems that they do it whenever they like
They don’t seem to need much excuse.
Just give them a reason and they’ll go on strike,
However obscure or obtuse.

The buses need painting? The depot’s unsightly?
They’re raising the price of a ticket?
We don’t take industrial action lightly –
Sure it’s weeks since we last formed a picket.

Some people may wonder if going on strike
Was the bus drivers’ only real option.
Was forcing Joe Public to get on his bike
The sole motion down for adoption?

Were there other options, we’d all like to know
To bidding commuters aloha?
Well no – for the call to adopt a go-slow
Was thrown out - for they can’t go much slower.

The great Dublin Airport Authority

When the cold of the morning is bitingly keen,
I will climb in my Yaris to find
The windscreen caught fast in a thick icy sheen
And I’m sitting there totally blind.

It happens quite often when winter takes grip,
The jug of cold water’s prepared.
When the tone of the air has a definite grip,
My windscreen is often ensnared.

So please tell me why, with each cold snap foreseen,
The airport has but one de-icer,
And planes are left standing when they should have been
Arriving in climates far nicer?

Just one lone machine to go ‘round every plane
And give them a two-minute spray,
While ordin’ry folk off to Greece or to Spain
Are left cursing the shaggin’ delay.

Most other airports in Europe’s chill parts
De-ice as a matter of course.
They quickly negate bitter Winter’s cruel darts
And let his cold hand feel the force.

But no, here in Dublin, why should we prepare
For freeze-ups that happen quite often?
Sure, why should the airport authority care
If the ice takes an ice-age to soften?

Having it both ways

Yes they told us it had been
The finest Government we’d seen,
Responsible for economic boom.
The leadership was given,
The economy was driven
And Ireland’s global stock began to zoom.

‘Twas great Government, they said,
Unsurprising that it led
To a wave of most unparalleled prosperity.
Our finances truly soared
As the Celtic tiger roared
With bravado and defiance, not temerity.

But now dear old Ireland’s fecked,
The economy is wrecked
And suddenly the focus has been shifted.
The world recession is to blame
For this unemployment shame
And the plaudits, once so loud, have slowly shifted.

It’s a worldwide fiscal crisis
That affects our costs and prices –
The Government is really just a victim.
And poor Brian, what can he do
But shut his eyes and see it through?
It’s so unfair how journalists depict him.

.

Barrack Obama’s Inauguration Speech

We had a sense of hist’ry in the making,
The dawning of a new and golden age.
The earth stood still – my wizened hands were shaking,
All eyes upon this man upon the stage.

The rhetoric flew down to earth like manna
And landed on our aching, yearning ears.
From Washington to Brisbane and Fermanagh,
We answered him with loud, affirming cheers.

For half an hour he spoke with deep conviction.
We marvelled at how well the message flowed.
With clarity of purpose and of diction
Into people’s consciences he strode.

Black and white and young and old united,
We listened as the neck-hairs stood on end.
We felt that every past wrong would be righted,
A President ‘pon whom we could depend.

A speech with all the elements of drama,
We sat back overwhelmed when he was done.
Then Rasher pointed to Michelle Obama
And said, “Begod, I’d like to give her one.”

Goodbye Dubya

They claim he was a fool, this man
Who made up words and grinned inanely,
Who sent troops to Afghanistan
Where still their gait remains ungainly,
Who turned his anti-terror plan
Against Iraq, sans judge or jury,
Serving simply but to fan
The flames of fundamental fury.

They claim he was a mere buffoon,
A pygmy when great height was needed,
Who howled in anger at the moon
When economic boom receded,
Who whistled aye the self-same tune
When ears were closed to that old number,
Who toddled off to bed too soon,
Escaping into blissful slumber.

Hist’ry, though, will scarcely find him
Dim, when all the books are written.
Rather, led by those behind him –
Shadows that bewitched a kitten.
Pow’rful forces that did blind him
To the line ‘twixt right and wrong,
Puppeteers that have defined him
As the man that tagged along.

Dear John

Dear John,
It seems our special bond is failin.’
Our relationship, it seems, is all but through.
Find comfort in the arms of Sarah Palin,
She loves you more than I could ever do.

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Hating old people

Oh cleave my poor tongue to the roof of my mouth
And cast me adrift to my fate.
May all of my friends say ‘Farewell’ and head south,
For what I’m about to relate.

The elderly, sadly, are all in a tizzy
Because of the budget’s means testing.
Many are scandalised, many are busy
Writing in to Joe Duffy, protesting.

The subject’s emotive and Lenihan’s lash
Has caused quite an old-age furore.
They’re on the phone saying they won’t have the cash
In Galway and Gort and in Gorey.

“Worked hard all my life. Now I’m left out to rot.”
“They’re robbing old people of savings.”
“Robbing us blind of the little we’ve got.”
On and on go the denture-frothed ravings.

But what is the problem, I ask, pretty please,
To take part in a means-tested audit?
Why should those with millions seek medical fees
When its evident they can afford it?

Hand-outs should go with how little you earn –
Old age should not earn you acquittal.
Let those OAPs who have money to burn
Not sponge off of those who have little.

Of course I agree that the thresh-hold is low,
And that some of those caught are not wealthy,
But the principal stands – you should pay as you go
If your bank book is looking quite healthy.

.

Can't believe I'm siding with FF / PDs on this one but I can't see any earthly reason why medical cards for OAPs should not be means tested. Was it right for former Taoiseach Charlie Haughey to have a medical card? Or George Redmond? The current cut off point is somewhat low and should be raised but the principle is sound.